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CCA Maze

Snowy, Laetitia, Alana | Apple, Banana, Orange | Dream Princess

Rhom part two: Snowy, Laetitia, Alana (back to top)

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love" - 1 John 4:18

Definitions: 1) Service-to-Others (STO): awaken/a15.htm; John 15:12; orientat/o01.htm; awaken/a04.htm; Urantia Book (UB) 149:6, 2) Service-to-Self (STS): rules/r04.htm; call/c24.htm; Isaiah 14:12-15, 3) Cat: Rev.6:12-14, 4) Toymaker: makes toys, 5) Orientation University (OU): Toymaker's cosmic university, 6) TQ: Total Quality, 7) Cosmic Competitive Advantage (CCA): OU's TQ Mission Statement (UB 55:12), 8) Council of Worlds: rules/r20.htm.

Please copy/paste the base url included below, along with partial links into your browser's address bar for all web-based references. Enjoy!

::: Snowy, Laetitia, and Alana :::

Painting nestsOnce upon a time there was a mother shorebird who had three little birds: Snowy, Laetitia, and Alana. "It's time that each of you build and paint your own nests." "Finish your lessons," she said, "then find some good strong material to design your nests from (poleshft/p28.htm) because the big, bad cat is out there and will try to eat you all up!"

"Ok", said the three little birds! And away they flew, not three but two, to make their artistic dreams come true!

Snowy Plover used to be one lazyass shorebird - didn't like to build or paint shit - Ok? Subscribed to online ET-controlled Amalgamated Press last year? One of Snowy's surfin' high school chums was captured on a Malibu webcam last summer eating Snowy's artwork - again! Snowy was devastated! Insiders'll can tell ya - Snowy has NEVER, EVER believed in cats! All he has ever wanted to do was to write arias!

Mars CabinsAs if it was no surprise, Laetitia saw a cat! At a luncheon a few eons ago in law school, she learned the hard way that the asshole that used to live across the Playa del Rey bike path from her in Chirp'N Dale, Schade N. Freude was one! When Laetitia discovered that Prince of STS Schade was just using her dad's bankroll to help build his private vacation cabin UP (rules/r27.htm) north, she chanced across Toymaker's add in the local SbTimes for a Teacher's Assistant (TA) job at OU. Laetitia trashes Freude, and applies for the TA job.

And Alana grew up to be a gifted singer - chirps her ass off! Alana, along with some of her close friends at OU, helped (the then STO) Bully Willet design and build the Hill Art Festival a long, long, time ago. That, incidentally, was the ONLY reason she became a ($7.75/hr!) singing coach at the Festival's music academy. Alana was very dedicated.

::: Ms. Plover :::

Snowy, please son - listen! Although the cat only comes around once every 3,657 days (poleshft/p05.htm; Exodus 13:3,4; myths/m04.htm), he's been spotted - prepare! Nonsense, mom - what are you saying? Tide washes him up on the beach? Bwahahahaha! (LOL) - GET HELP!

Then Snowy, bored stiff, starts wondering if there really is a God! God wouldn't let a big ol cat get him - would He? Then Snowy wondered about his sister Alana. Just like his other sister Laetitia, Alana Willet moved to the fun town of Hill Art many moons ago. Instead of doing his homework one day last month, ol' Snowy baby decides to build up his courage and spend the afternoon writing another aria! Next morning Snowy names it "Developing The Mind Consciousness - The Comprehension of the Idea of God." (UB 5:5) Lots of polish later, Snowy sends the beautiful and majestic aria to his sister Alana, who worked (way back then) at the Hill Art Festival (hoping sis can get him a job).

::: Saint Elmo? :::

Alana - who's freaky grisaille, "Saint Elmo's Fire", sittin' out front? And what's that " you will, you will when you believe.." song you're chirping? Phoebe - sales went t'hell ever since Bully's stupid, All-ETs-Are-Demons, Baths of Neptune mosaic last month (UB 49:5; worlds/w00.htm)! Wha? There's more, Phoebe! Bully found Snowy's aria in festival e-mail - one I'm teaching! Bully Willet went ballistic! Hence the paranoid, colorless art! Now he makes us dig back through all of Snowy's attachments looking for only urls to web sites offering free art supplies! All we ever find are tunes and a url or two from an underground ET comic book (eh-hem) ..

::: Bully and Alana :::

Bully, just GIVE Laetitia's CCA class the Hill Art Festival's "Developing the Soul Consciousness - the Realization of the Ideal of God" recitative - WHY?

Alana, listen: Laetitia comes to me in my dreams at night - really! She tells me I'm the most important willet in the world! Wha?? She's dating Pseth! No, Alana! She's stuck in a sad relationship - she loves ME! Oh gawd, Bully - you're sick, SICK! Wanna PAYCHECK, sis?

Listen up, bird brain! OU's bird nests are in every country, and Laetitia can't complete OU's new CCA opera theaters without our [System X]. And CCA is scheduled for a preview release on the main musical circuits! The projected ticket sales, combined with Hill Art worldwide properties - are frigging priceless!

Say the clever birds begin to build cat-proof domes (thub00.htm). What if most of the shorebirds, in groups, build more than their own needs? Suppose too that the other birds on Toymaker's seven main musical circuits (UB 15) catch on and do the same! Kick-ass shorebirds might just wake up and realize that (hint) the otherwise remote possibility that the worldwide switch to cat-proof Bird Heaven can occur before the big bad cat arrives (density/d17.htm; Jonah 3:6-10; CCA)! After the bad ol' cat gets a clue he can't blow his way out of a wet paper bag, we'll still have all our shows and festivals - intact!

Oh brother .. Just how you gonna entice wildass, scared shitless shorebirds to think of others (orientat/o39.htm, transfor/t07.htm)?

LOOK, Alana, the worst thing that can happen is that most every bird village can have their cat-proof bird dome and therefore - NO panic! And THAT, Alana, means uninterrupted music sales, bird-brained excuse for a sister!

Sheeesh - is THIS how you became STS, er, Director? It's a bird-eat-bird world (myths/m33.htm; worlds/w49.htm), Alana! Bwahahahahaha!!.

::: Ring .. Ring .. Ring :::

Hello? Laetitia - get my System X? Alana - Sorry sis! I donated your awesome tunes to Kooterville Church, across from Crocodileopolis! That carnivorous, Pastor Jubatus pilfered your opera's royalties to pay off his absurd, Mars Casino & Nest timeshares (govmt/g81.htm)! And .. AND???

The good news, Alana, is that my new boyfriend Pseth, agreed to buy your "X" arias and recitatives back from Jubatus! Pseth gave the enchanted, Sentient Art to Toymaker, who would like to fit System X into OU's ambitious CCA Method Y-based projects. Oh yeah, Toymaker agreed to let Pseth borrow OU's Zykor mothership for private, err, Council projects next eon (eh-hem)!

::: TQ401/CCA Lab :::

PianoBack early, Ms. Plover? Eh? Depressed, but our new opera sounds great, Richard! Thanks, Ms. Plover! So, Snowy come back? Says hi once in awhile, Rich. But he still wants to be a meal - ouch! Sorry, Ms. Plover - new stage equipment - TURN IT DOWN, kids!

Honestly, Ms. Plover, I never saw a cat either! I had a hard time believing you too, until this .. What is it, Rich? Another cat-preparation e-mail from Alana that your daughter Laetitia gave me yesterday after her cantata for Toymaker (thub.htm; UB 31:3). I wish Snowy could see those e-mails, Richard!

Editor's note: Laetitia's piano instructor Richard, after much reading and encouragement from Ms. Plover (UB 91:8; orientat/o39.htm; Matthew 22:37-39), discovers his pre-birth instructions (beinghum/b21.htm; awaken/a91.htm)! Among other activities, he decides to help (awaken and) recruit STOs from among Snowy's lazy birdie butts! One by one, beginning with Internet-based hydroponics classes (; transfor/t85.htm), the lazy shorebirds (including Snowy himself - Glory Hallelujah!) learn to help one another prepare for the big MEOW! And wise ol' Rich calls Snowy Plover every now and again to remind him to send his gifts, er, arias to Bully's Hill Art Festival at least once a week!

::: No Hoarding! :::

Ooops - fearful shorebirds (1 Peter 5:8) keep quitting the class! They've been spotted going off to hoard seed and supplies (transfor/t84.htm) in their straw nests - just enough for themselves!
- End of editor's note

::: MEOW! :::

A few years later, the fearful shorebirds had just settled into their new straw nests when they heard a loud hissing sound outside! "What's th-th-that?" they all cried!

"Little birds, little shorebirds, let me come in," Fang purrrred softly from the outside .. "No way!" said the fearful lil' shorebirds, "get da phuck outa 'ere!" "GRR-AARGH! YOUR ALL DEAD BIRD MEAT, MUH*ERS!", Fang R-O-A-R-E-D!!!

"I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your sickass, cockroach-infested, nests down!", the rapacious cat hissed! So, drooling Fang hissed, and he blew, and the fearful little STS shorebird's straw nests came tumbling down around their skrony little you-know-whats! And the remaining STS shorebirds that did not get immediately dispatched to the Galactic Baby Warehouse (GBW; worlds/w49.htm; call/c15.htm) flew quickly off to what they thought was Snowy's nest dome, fortunately just a mile away! Unfortunately however, with all Fang's hissin' goin' on, the fearful shorebirds made a wrong turn somewhere (tsk, tsk, tsk!) .. "Snowy, brother Snowy, let us in, you miserable piece-a-shit - NOW!!!"

"Not by the feathers on my chinny chin chin," said Bully Willet, "Blow away!"

::: Back At OU :::

Yes, Princess Jennifer?

What happens next?

Correlation of the experiential with the existential (UB Foreward: XI), is part of our Method Y, Princess - you'll answer your own question next semester! Nevertheless, in addition to all of their other six lessons (UB 3:5), mantids in your Uniramia experiments must:

(a) live in a world where the alternative of pain and the likelihood of suffering are ever present,

(b) struggle in an environment of relative goodness and beauty, surroundings that will stimulate the irrepressible reach for better things, and

(c) grow up in a world where error is present and falsehood always possible.

Princess Jennifer, why not have your students ask King Manny and his intrepid STOs from Uniramia how our/their little story should end - when you and your insect friends get back from spring break? Agent Monica going with you?

She's the Captain!

Excellent! Well, bye for now!

-The End.

To probe further: transfor/t10.htm; John 8:51; poleshft/p05.htm; W. Houston, M. Carey, "When You Believe", Dreamworks, Arista, and Columbia Records; 1 John 4:18; transfor/t25.htm; food/tfood022.htm; food/tfood132.htm; "Uniramia," metaphor for Urantia - from free online edutainment from xenoclastic (Johnny), Usenet, 1998-2001; Proverbs 3:5-6; govmt/g22.htm; govmt/g126.htm; transfor/t99.htm; CCA Mission Statement: "Design and build System X, that eventuates experiential Method Y, that continually increases the enjoyment and satisfaction of existential love, raising and redefining the height of God's ultimate satisfaction, Z"; Stewart Kenyon, "Hydroponics for the Home Gardner", Key-Porter Books Limited, 1992; Raymond Bridwell, "Hydroponics Gardening". Woodbridge Press Publishing Co., 1998, Compton's Interactive Encyclopedia", The Learning Company Properties, Inc., 1998.

[System X: Begin]

  • O-Loop
  • Design tide-cycled, experimental beaches
  • M-Loop
    1. Enhance art with new experiential music
    2. Adjust tide cycles
    3. If new music hire musicians
    4. I-Loop
      • Enjoy music
      • Tweak colors, etc.
      • Snowy's Aria
      • I-Loop
    5. Laetitia's Recitative
    6. Send musicians to Peabody UB 44:1
    7. Send in sales agents
    8. Explain CCA goals as scenes ..
    9. Recruit Actors
    10. If no Ultimate crowds
      • Upgrade orchestra
    11. Else build a new theater
      • Cosmic Trophy
    12. M-Loop
  • Correlate with existential
  • Redefine new limits
  • O-Loop

[System X: End]

Snowy Plover's class notes

Schade N. Fruede, a sea monster with many disguises - including a wicked cat!
(back to story) | (back to top) | (back to the future)

Apple, Banana, Orange (back to top)

Long ago and far away, Phoebe, one very talented shorebird, decides to create a beautiful piece of art! She flies off to Island's Seaside Market one salubrious Spring morning, and brings a picturesque basket of fruit back to her beachfront island studio!

After much creativity, the first part of her painting (in spite of all attempts to keep surrealism out of her work) wakes up! Apple is shell shocked! Every shorebird within miles realizes exactly what "it" is - an apple! Nothing more, nothing less! But Apple is shy - aren't they supposed to be hidden in pie? By this time quite a crowd has gathered! Every shorebird is just staring at the surprised apple, thinking that something wonderful has just happened! Sheeeesh! Don't you have to be smart to wake up?

Embarrassed Apple tries to talk to the other two apples that Phoebe has almost completed! Apple tells Phoebe that the apple she just completed was the wrong color - yellow! Of course by this time Banana wakes up too, and explains to Apple that Banana is NOT an apple! Additionally, what Apple said about the orange banana is not so! And just as Banana is trying to explain to Apple that Banana is NOT an apple, Orange wakes up!

Orange, after some deep soul searching, finally explains to frightened Banana that Orange is NOT a banana! Just then, Orange spots another painting nearby! Orange tells Banana that they are all really a painting, just like the one on the wall next to them - see?

Then Fruit Basket cheerfully explains to all of the frightened fruit on the canvas nearby that "it" is not anything that Painting could ever realize - Painting is not real! Painting became so confused! How could anything NOT hang on a wall? Fruit Basket insists that it is more wonderful - a thing of beauty and vitality!

Just then, Fruit Basket wakes up! "Painter," exclaims Fruit Basket, "What happened?" Painter, amused by Fruit Basket's strange dream, explains, "..Painting is just a time-space image-shadow! No actuality can ever be adequately comprehended by an examination of its shadow! Shadows should be interpreted in terms of their true substance.." (Urantia Book 1:6)

Fruit Basket, with a little smile still on his face, drifts back to sleep ..

See also: Free online edutainment from xenoclastic (Johnny), Usenet, 1998-2002.

Rhom part three: Dream Princess (back to top)

Definitions: Service-to-Others (STO): awaken/a15.htm; John 15:12; awaken/a04.htm, 2) those-who-mourn: STO genetic engineers; awaken/a02.htm; Psalms 103:20, 3) Service-to-Self (STS): rules/r04.htm, 4) Primary of Local STS ETs: Isaiah 14:12-15, 5) Toymaker: makes toys, 6) Orientation University (OU) Toymaker's cosmic university, 7) SLC101: OU, College of STS's Stealing, Lying, and Cheating course: 2nd semester, 8) Stormy weather: thub.htm; Rev. 6:12-14; density/d17.htm, 9) All awaken/a16.htm STS Character's (Lucifer, Satan, Caligastia, Daligastia) story details fantasized from Urantia Book (UB) 53:1, 10) Hybrid: hybrids/h00.htm - hybrids/h45.htm, 11) Copy and paste the base url included below, along with all partial links into your browser's address bar for all web-based references. Enjoy!

::: Once Upon A Time :::

Long ago and far away, lived the sagacious, brilliant Primary of Cheatin' Cherubs! A connoisseur of fine art, wine, women, and song (Ezekiel 28:13-17), Lucifer, because a sneaky and almost impossible-to-detect, "personality" glitch, does a hostile stock take over of more than 600 inhabited planets (UB 53:1-2)! Before close of escrow however, the Primary bails his nitwit uncle outa jail long enough to check his spheres for the usual: cosmic assets, callipygian babes - anything of value! Not surprisingly, Uncle Satan gets thrown right back in the slammer on his way out the door on a "Peeing out of Orbit Motel's barroom windows during a Y-350K millenium celebration" misdemeanor a while back! Desperate, furious-as-hell Lucifer ends up sendin' General Caligastia to do Admiral Satan's 24 of 70's inspection (UB 15:14)!

::: Nearby, In SLC101 Lab :::

As warrior cephalopods, hominoids, androids, and cyborgs, in 101 Lab's maiden voyage, we'll warp past Pyxis, drop off geological, uh, survey teams at M-Class planet Nymph, and continue to Canopus (Vacation planet Nymph, for more than just geological reasons, is still a smolderin' dwarf near Pyxis)! Incidentally, there's a rumor flying around that Royal Authority (Matthew 28:18) plans to neutralize Lucifer's bases in Sector Four (Isaiah 14:12-15), just after we return to OU for SLC101's weapon upgrades! Bull crap - just a rumor! I mean, what's the motive? Religious elite's tabloid fabrications, crew! Ambassador Bunkr will go over 101's Tactical, shortly ..

::: Starbase 69's Frigate Port :::

<Beep> .. <Beep> .. <Click!> WHAAAT!? D-D-Daligastia, Sir! AARGH! - that's ALL you called me for!? S-S-Sir! She found a bra in your chest-of-drawers! GRR-RRR!! Tell fadass she don't know how to do laundry! Uh, General Caligastia, Sir??? WHAT? It's uh, not hers! GRR-AARGH! Tell 'er ta GO TO HELL - that's HER friggin' problem! She's there, Sir! GRR-AARRRR!! SARGENT - tell 'er I'm refuelin' Uncle Nitwit's boat at 69, an' get that bitch THE PHUCK OFF MY SECRET COM CHANNEL - NOW!!! <CLICK!> GAWD I HATE DINOSAURS (worlds/w10.htm)! GRRR-AAARGH!

::: Sizzlin' Suzie :::

Smells good! Synthoffee!? Thanks! S'this QUICK check out!? Sheeeesh! What's yur name, babe? Suzie Que, yours? Caligastia - what's nice lookin' bitch like you doin' in greasy frigate stop like this? Pickin' up cards for ma sista! Gambler? No - church single's cruise - 606 of 24! NICE rapier, General! Married? Not t'night, shooga'plum! Where ya from? Askin' a lot a questions, tan boy! Take yo eyes off ma big you-know-whats for 10 picoseconds an' you'd see ma insignia: Planet Nymph! M'just takin' off for Earth's STS Soul Harvest! Gotta sweet deal goin' widda badass vicegerent of Crocodilopolis! Sure could use a body guard - interested, bad boy? Oh my gawd! I'm your ARMY, babe!

::: Meanwhile, In A Bug's Reality :::

Dr. Jennifer's waiting roomInconsiderate ass! Eh-hem, fly, I was there first! Can't you read the parkin' sign, asshole - NO JAGS! Compact parkin', IDIOT! Say, little fella, aren't you the pop-rapper with the "Von Frugelfox" license plate? IF YOUR JAGUAR ATE MY FOX .. Settle down, fly! I created your prototype! OH YEAH - I created YOUR PROTOTYPE! Flushed it 10 minutes ago! Whadda maroon - ALL DANCIN' FLYS POP RAP! Chill, Puff - or I could strike you with [en]Light[e]ning! ARE YOU THREATENING .. Excuse me! Tiddy? Mr. Puff Tiddy? Please have a seat on the cow paddy. The Psychiatrist will see you now.

::: Puff's Treatment :::

So, what's your new dream princess look like, Puff? Doc, she's soooooo beautiful - but like I said, she's HUGE! Can we ever be soul mates, Dr. Jennifer? I write her these love stories in my dreams, but she acts like she never reads 'em! The stories are beautiful, doc - they make me cry! Don't even know where they're comin' from (boo hoo, sniff, sniff)!

.. That's it, Puff. See you next week! Wha?! B-b-but doctor! You remind me so much of my dream princess! Tell me somethin' - anythin'? Plezzzzz? Well, Ok - just this much: It seems that your dreams apply to widely different groups! By not knowing the exact source of your stories (John 16:13-15; UB 40:4; visitatn/v43.htm; UB 12:3) this helps to keep the intended audience unable to know the source of your messages until they are ready to assemble all of the partial messages and see the completed picture!

::: Packages :::

Eh-hem - the "packages," Doc? Found 'em, eh? Not bad, Puff! Anyhoooo, think of your dream stories as uh .. cosmic dumbwaiter! Occasionally, Admin puts (third-density benignant) colorful looking packages on your story dumbwaiter, labeling each one for the intended recipient! Remember wise crackin' Mr. Bun E. Rabbit? Well, most entities read the package label first, and pick up the correct package! Other entities (that because of their spiritual rank ought to know what is really going on; density/d05.htm) may not think that package address labels have significance - and end up opening everybody's package[1]!

Ahhhh, I understand .. But Doc - the unlabeled ones? What's life without a few enigmas, Puff? Don't you think Admin likes to have a little fun too? I have to hurry - but don't worry, Puff! Just have fun writing the love letters to your princess! Mr. Tiddy, would you mind waiting outside - thirty minutes? I'll write your prescription right after I finish with my next patient ..

::: Bugmaker's Treatment :::

.. and who did that happen to - Oceanmaker? Correct, Doctor! And Birdmaker couldn't get his shorebirds to learn the mind consciousness - the idea of Deity, until a local rebellion at the Hill Art Festival! And it took insurrection for Fishmaker to stumble onto genius whales that actually develop the realization of the spirit reality of God (UB 5:5)! Unusual dream, Mr. Maker! It's Bugmaker, Doc, I make bugs - USED to .. You still do, Bugmaker! Then you awoke? No - while still dreaming we all came back from lunch! My new batch of red, green, and blue larvae turned out either black or white - with no color! Pupae learned to amuse themselves, but with the same old stories! What does all this mean, Doctor? Bugmaker, why not retrain your black and white dream bugs, with opposite behavioral patterns? Would that help all the other bugs get an idea of where they stand on issues?

::: Prognosis[2] :::

.. and you, Bugmaker? Bug Lodge is beautiful this time of year - sounds like fun! Puff, questions? What's psychodrama, Doctor? It's where we help OU's TQ401 put on a brief drama for our Horse Butte class project - think of it as a little vacation together! Ready?

::: Bug Lodge :::

Students: remember! We're still looking for suggestions for a "Method Y" - a spiritual playhouse, or stage for our little skit! What do you have, Alana? Hot chocolate, Professor? Silly - the suggestion under your wing! How about this one - from Crazy Newton? On the overhead, Alana? <Click! Hmmmmmmmmm..>
- - - - - - -

Re: Planetary Ascensions
System: X-based Spheres
Related Metaphor: "Salsa Art"

options"Design and build System X, that eventuates experiential Method Y, that continually increases the enjoyment and satisfaction of existential love, raising and redefining the height of God's ultimate satisfaction, Z."

- - - 
Hmmm .. heavy! Examples? Here's one in Newt's attachment, Professor Jennifer: " a bike wheel where there are no spokes until System X eventuates a spoke connector on the wheel rim. In an oversimplified example .." Hold it! Too complex for third density! Skipper - do you have an idea for a simpler playhouse? How about a, hmmm .. box-like maze, with just three floors? Professor? Yes, Alana? Idea: why not use crazy Newton's concept, but put it in Skipper's box!

::: Rhom :::

Three floors? Anybody have a bug-related name for the first floor? Fernandez? Why not call the bottom floor, Rhombencephalon, Professor? Whoa! That's a little hard to remember, Commander, but let's let the bottom stage be where most of the TQ401 skit's "mental" action takes place: manipulations such as motion, change, modification, coordination, stabilization, and equilibrium! As far as spiritual matters are concerned, reaching the first floor's goal can represent Nebadon's (UB 15:14) entry into the age of light and life! Hmmm .. However, let's shorten your name to just "Rhom."

Human brain::: Mesene :::

And the second floor, Alana? Professor, it is becoming obvious to the whole class: the discriminative operation of a hypothetical middle floor (UB 6:4), or spirit-gravity circuit, might very likely be compared to the functions of neural (brain-like) circuits in the material, or third density bug's body (UB 7:3)! Why not keep your interesting neuropsychological metaphor by calling the second floor Mesencephalon, Professor? Whoa - way too hard to remember, Alana! However, I like the way you bugs think - creatively! Nevertheless, as far as spiritual matters are concerned, reaching the second floor's disparate goals can represent Orvonton's magnificent entry into the age of light and life! Let's just shorten your name so as to make it a cross between MESENcephalon and nEbula, or "Mesene."

::: Prosenona :::

Ms Swallowtail, your wing raised? I guess the top stage would have to be called prosencephalon! You mean a bug's forebrain? Hmmm. As far as spiritual maters are concerned, reaching the top floor's goal can represent reaching the grand universe stage of light and life (UB 55:12)! Ok, students, let's shorten the name by combining PROSENcephalon and HavONA (UB 14:2), and call it "Prosenona." We might as well put the Bug Lodge in the middle, eh? Let's call top, center stage, "Grand Island," Ok, students?

::: CCA :::

But what about the name of the maze itself - Antonio? How about something to do with TQ (Total Quality) - some form of uh, cosmic competition, like "Competition Advantage?" Commander B'Elannu - you seem excited - what? Bugmaker, we gotta get back! Just call Bugville's perception of their first Method Y, "Cosmic Competitive Advantage," or "CCA," for short! C'mon crew - Lynx is waiting! Byeeeeeeeee!

::: Skipper's Idea :::

Bugmaker, I was at first, quite frankly, offended by Skipper telling everybody that I was in on the "whole damn Lucifer rebellion.." I knew about it - that's all! But how can an impudent, ascendant mortal of time and space tell Us what to do - "Honesty! Blatant, embarrassing honesty" Why, larvae do not understand even their own reality, let alone it's truth! Our STO return will go to blazes!

Skipper, come here .. Explain.

W-w-wasn't ROI from the Lucifer rebellion sort of linear? 1,000 and growing - SERIOUSLY - not bad at all (UB 54:6)! But I was under the impression from loving, fireside chats with the Monarch, that linear growth was embarrassingly too easy to obtain - blasť! Even a joke on some System X Bug Party platforms! Something closer to exponential growth from seeded rebellion was being achieved by brilliant bugs on System X (UB 49:5[1]) ski lifts who correctly extrapolated inevitable telepathy into the equation - prior to it's occurrence (awaken/a05.htm)! Princess Jennifer - you're blushing? Bugmaker! How can .. exponential growth, be so?

CabinEditor's note: Leaning back on the slightly rain dampened chair, with his tootsies propped up on the catsup and mustard stained, weather beaten table, with songbirds chirping softly in a nearby juniper, with the aroma from a fireplace in a cabin in the woods by the lodge, overlooking the partially cloud covered, gorgeous and rustic mountain side, politely sipping hot chocolate (and trying to avoid getting the stir stick up his nose) taking windy, ethereal notes, after a long pause, shares with his staid, somewhat quixotic Princess, an interesting situation in a Grand Island graduate school! - End of Editor's note

.. there was a situation where bugs had so many lousy things going for them (quite similar to what the mantids experienced with the Insect Tsunami on Uniramia; density/d28.htm; UB 3:5) that when the multitime arounders were confronted with ingenuous truth, instead of panicking (which very often takes intense telepathy) they, well, laughed their ass off! Surprised the sh*t out of the tour horses stationed on the bug lift! The challenge is to let every bug possible, know in advance of what was cooking - prior to the cookout! Sometimes easier said than done, experience has since proved!

::: Four Fifths: Can Do! :::

Bugmaker, when we do Bug Party lab, let's gather all the clever bugs together (on the Internet) and tell them the ingenuous truth, but let them know in advance what is possible in an Horse Butte situation! You mean, tell 'em "the hot dogs suck, but the hamburgers are almost ready"? Essentially correct, Jennifer! But everybody takes baby steps, starting with crazy Newton's (UB 44:5[4]) first stage CCA goals (UB 5:5)!

And Jennifer, we will have to explain to all of our new caterpillars that it is their onerous responsibility to share the good/bad news with the majority of the rest of their neighborhood larvae (transfor/t09.htm), in order to even begin to achieve CCA's selfless, second or third stage goals (UB 55:12)! Will the bugs go for the exponential achievement, Princess, or tip the scales toward saving themselves - the acid test of real growth! Grand Island graduate school proved by an overwhelming majority of classroom examples that beautiful CCA music, when sent up through Grand Island's secret channels correctly, returns supreme, cosmic faith that helps the bugs so that they just don't panic - not when they know the stakes! No panic, Bugmaker? Kickass commitment, Princess! Well then, let's get our "Method Y," Bug Party platform ready!

Note: However, due to an unexpected incident with King Manny's time machine, the transformed bugs get to practice their little skits on the previously secret holoden on the supposedly missing "G" deck on the Bravuryyk, er, Promethean. The G (or 7th) deck, was reserved to house Bugmaker and Princess Jennifer's CCA maze, eventuating in shared universes. However, story [Teamwork] picks up primarily from Toymaker's universe, or reality. All of Promethean's holodens have something, shall we say interesting - brewing in them - CCA is just one of 10 holodens!

::: Single's Cruise! :::

Then, while harvestin', er, answerin' "The Call" (call/c00.htm) from one of Suzie Que's STS third density, cash customers, Caligastia has the good fortune to accidentally stumble into Suzie's gorgeous, curvaceous, sizzlin' sister Barbie on Kooterville's Lemmin Church single's cruise on the Crocodile Yacht - with three decks! After a popular, fire-an-brimstone, "All Singles Are Sinners!" sermon (orientat/o24.htm), they all rush down to the lounge below the Captain's annex! While Barbie Que's rich boyfriend Schade N. Freude deals from the bottom, Que swindles a galactic s#it load of Lucifer's planets from ol' Red in a strip poker game - almost 350K years ago! Caligastia, embarrassingly scratchin' 'is twxgrfnplnkl widdiz pointy tail, suspects cheatin' - goes ballistic!

::: Cabin Quest :::

Later, after sneakin' in Suzie's cabin and nearly trippin' over her gemut ("Fang"; a cat-like "thing"), furious Caligastia snoops around Suzie's room lookin' for evidence to s'plain Lucifer's chillin' wit Nudnick lately! Instead, he gets lucky and overhears snoozin' Barbie talkin' in 'er sleep! As he listens carefully, the ol' Gen hits gold!

::: Lucifer/Gole Connection :::

Lucifer's planetsBarbie mumbles in her sleep that Caligastia's cheatin' Primary was secretly cookin' up a wicked, evil deal wit Gole M. Nudnick, his High Commander! Lucifer was lookin' for any excuse to trash his primitive and rebellious, hominoid-infested Earth! After surprisin' the livin' you-know-what outa Barbie on her way to the bathroom, Suzie's curvaceous sis noticed that cosmic stud Caligastia was gettin' real HOT under the collar, turned permanently red, and morphs into the PRINCE OF EVIL! Anyhoooo, next day Caligastia gets Barbie Que'd for tryin' to date both sisters on the same night - at the same party! So, Caligastia slithers into the darkness, snags a bugged Deity pass, and commandeers a passing STS drone barge!

::: Captain 6 of 9 and the Ambassador :::

That's you I'm playing footsies with, isn't it, Captain? Shhhh, I've got energy leaks.. Ambassador, you're next. A'be right back! Where ya goin'? PLX-01W adjustments! Captain, ya know, if that li'l Zeta DEMON wasn't surgically altered to look Vulcan .. FORGET IT, Bollix! Spoof - hominoid; Bollix - depraved android! An' remember, not a word about Primary's Ambassadors - 'til I get back!

::: Captain's Ready Room :::

Ten, damn it! Eleven! I'm counting, ten! Come back 'ere - sixteen more!! Uh, listen. My a*hole boss already suspects the Primary and I have a secret plot to get rid of Earth! If ol' Red catches us here, we're space dust! The General is so full a sh*t, Gole! You know, that jealous bastard tried to tell me that you just wanna be Dean a OU's College a STS just to steal a PBOT! What's t-th-that (..gulp)??? And then he said you wanna steal back the planets that Schade N. Freude and I stole from 'im! Pure bullsh*t, babe! He said you be chillin' wit Rex - you BI, babe? WHA?? - FILTHY LYIN' SACK A CRAP! The Sargent and I have NEVER been seen .. uh, I mean, NEVER been like that - DAMN IT! <BONK!> <BEEP!> Ooooops - DAMN! Knocked 6 of 9's terminal on! HEY .. Come 'ere! Look! 6 of 9's got a holo of .. Oh shit - that's Suzie Que wit General Dickhead himself! I gotta bad feelin' about this ..

::: Smile! You're On.. :::

SUZIE!! Barbie just told asshole Nudnick 'bout me bribin' Rex! AARGH!! General - Shutup yo fat face, IDIOT!! And don't make a move - stand perfectly still! WHA?? Look - 6 of 9's Ready Room's gotta friggin' spy cam too! They see us spyin' on them, right now - but they don't know it! WHA?? <burp!> MOVE! <CLICK!> <BEEP!> GRRRR-AAAAARGH!!

To be continued ..  (back to top)

2. This is just a story and the "treatment" is fictional. If you have health questions of any kind, please see your family physician. (back to story)

ADDENDUM Other interesting places to visit:

  • Earth (606 of 24) is No. 606 of Satania. Needs headquarters - soon.
  • Satania (24 of 70) is No. 24 of Norlatiadek. Satania's headquarters is Jerusem.
  • Norlatiadek (70 of 84) is No. 70 of Nebadon. Norlatiadek's headquarters is Edentia.
  • Nebadon (84 of 3) is No. 84 of Ensa. Nebadon's capital is Salvington.
  • Ensa (3 of 5) is No. 3 of Splandon. Ensa's capital is Uminor the third.
  • Splandon (5 of 7) is No. 5 of Orvonton. Splandon's headquarters is Umajor the fifth.
  • Orvonton is the seventh superuniverse! Orvonton's headquarters is Uversa.

See also: transfor/t85.htm ; "The Brain and nervous System", rev. ed., Steve Parker, Watts, 1991; thub00.htm; UB 31:10; orientat/o39.htm; "Evolution of the Brain", J.C. Eccles, Routledge, 1990; density/d47.htm; transfor/t10.htm; Compton's Interactive Encyclopedia, Copyright (c) 1994, 1995 Compton's NewMedia, Inc.; Rev. 3:10; beinghum/b21.htm; UB 50:7; poleshft/p28.htm; "The Ocean World of Jacques Cousteau, Invisible Messages" Vol.7, Jacques Yves Cousteau, The Danbury Press, A Division of Grolier Enterprises Inc., Robert B. Clarke, 1975, pp.32,33; Matthew 22:37-39; transfor/t05.htm, "Only People With No Life Read This", Farbutt I. Understand, Ph.D., Sheeeeesh, Inc., 1994; transfor/t07.htm; govmt/g22.htm, and free online edutainment from xenoclastic (Johnny), Usenet, 1998-2002.

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